I am a creature of planning and routine. Weekends are busy times around here. We have all the “usual” weekend stuff to do, like vacuuming the house, going to the grocery store, catching up with family on Skype and going for a run. And then we have the things we don’t do every weekend, but which need to get done sometime, like getting the stuff to hang curtains, working on the taxes, planning our summer trip to the beach. And, then, of course, we try to find a little time to relax and enjoy ourselves.
Archive for March, 2012
Lost Sunday
Sunday, March 11th, 2012Gray
Saturday, March 10th, 2012I just found my first gray hair this morning. I know, I’m incredibly lucky that it’s taken this long. I’m sure there are others in there somewhere, but they’re tricky to distinguish from the blond ones, so it’s possible that I have a ton of them (maybe my “blond” hair has just been progressively becoming grayer over the years, and I’ve never noticed). I doubt it, though. My dad is still really blond, so I suspect it’s just good genes and I’m just exceptionally fortunate.
I’m not traumatized at all. I actually like it. Not only is it pretty and kind of sparkly, but I really have no issues about getting (and looking) older. (Maybe it’s because I’ve always looked relatively young?) I think I would be bothered if I looked older than I am – for any reason, hair color or otherwise — but as it is, I don’t mind my gray hair. In fact, I have this image of myself, one day in the future, much older, with a long gray braid — and I’ve got to start somewhere. (I hope that works out for me, eventually.) I tried to point it out to Benjamin this evening. He was unimpressed.
I’m a mom. I’m 35. Life is good. I don’t mind looking like all of those things are true.
I’ve been thinking about getting my hair highlighted for years, but I’ve just never gotten around to it. My hairdressers and my more fashion conscious friends have assured me that it would be flattering and make me look more youthful. Maybe I’ll get around to it one of these days, but I’m certainly not going to do it now — it might cover up my gray hair!
The liberation of anonymity
Friday, March 9th, 2012For most of my life, I’ve been a pretty self-conscious person. I’m constantly judging myself, and I imagine (much more than is probably true) that other people are judging me, too. I have spent years of my life evaluating every little thing that I did, trying to see if it was “right” and adjusting it if it wasn’t. I spent many years trying incredibly hard to be, do or say what I was “supposed” to or what was “expected” or what (I thought, probably incorrectly) would make people like me — I denied who I really was a lot.
One more snow
Thursday, March 8th, 2012The weather forecasts here in Vienna are surprisingly inaccurate. We’re not sure why — whether people just care more at home, so more resources are put into forecasting, or whether something about the climate of Vienna makes it hard to predict the weather. But it’s common for the temperature forecast to be off by 10 Celsius degrees, and occasionally even more. Likewise, when any kind of precipitation is called for (or not) we don’t really count on that happening.
Nothing to say
Wednesday, March 7th, 2012I’ve been staring at my computer for over an hour trying to think of something to say, and I just can’t. I’ve been trying to switch my mind off of the track that it’s on — to something more upbeat, or clever. But I can’t.
A friend of mine from Sweet Briar (I don’t know her terribly well, but it’s a small place — we’re all friends) has two little boys. Carter, the youngest, was diagnosed this past fall with a malignant, inoperable brain tumor. He’s too little for the kind of radiation therapy typically used on this type of tumor, so they’ve been fighting his cancer with chemotherapy. He’s 2. His older brother and dad have been at home, trying to maintain some version of “normal” (which included relocating the family at one point) while his mom has been with him while he gets his treatment (partially administered at St. Jude’s).
Liam’s nap
Tuesday, March 6th, 2012Is it possible, little one, that there will come a time when you don’t know how special you are? Your open mouth, your tightly curled fingers, your little body snuggled up against me. Here, while you sleep in my arms, is a perfect moment. I wouldn’t change a thing. I love to feel your soft breath and see your eyelids flutter while you sleep. My sweet baby. I am awed and grateful to have been given the responsibility of being your mother. When you are awake, you embrace life so thoroughly — running, laughing, cuddling, smiling, demanding what you need. And as you sleep, you are so content. You are such a happy child, and so comfortable and confident in who you are.
Tax time
Monday, March 5th, 2012Doing your taxes is like vacuuming. It doesn’t matter what country, zip code or time zone you’re in, it’s not fun. I don’t object in principle to having to file my taxes (nor to having to pay them) but I do find the process of preparing and filing my return frustratingly complicated and supremely unsatisfying.
Sitting outside
Sunday, March 4th, 2012It’s still chilly in Vienna. When I went out to get coffee (and an hour to myself) this morning, it was about 40. Not too bad, but not yet quite springlike (especially with the nearly ever present wind). But it must be almost spring here, because when I got to Starbucks, they had set up the outdoor seating area.
It’s beginning to look a lot less like Christmas
Saturday, March 3rd, 2012It’s March 3. It was about 50 degrees outside today — we kept the door to our terrace, and the skylight, open almost all day. The sunlight comes in to our apartment in the morning AND the afternoon. The birds are out and singing (loudly). It was light until almost 6:00 today. And, I finally put our Christmas decorations away.
I guess that means it’s nearly time for spring! It’s been warm the last few days here in Vienna, but I’m not fooled — there’s still snow in our forecast for later in the week. (And, really, I could use one more really good snow.) But the days are undoubtedly getting longer (and warmer — our toilet hasn’t frozen in a few weeks, at least). Benjamin got to play outside at school the other day — it’s one of his favorite things about school, and I think his overall enjoyment of attendance may increase significantly once outside play time once again becomes a daily occurrence – and going to the park will soon become a regular staple of our schedule. The farmers markets were open this morning, and Dan has seen some of the restaurants and cafes setting up their outdoor seating areas again (which is extra exciting for us because we find it so much easier to eat out with the kids when we’re sitting outside — they’re entertained by the activity of the city and no one notices when they get loud). In a few short weeks, the Easter markets will be going again. (They were up when we arrived last spring. Which reminds me, too, that we’ll shortly hit our one year anniversary of living in Europe.)
I’m glad I got the Christmas decorations put away — it would be weird to have them up for Easter . . . even weirder than it was to have them up for Valentine’s Day.
Obsessively . . . cleaning?
Friday, March 2nd, 2012I am . . . . kind of particular . . . (ok, shut up and stop laughing) about lots of things. I have a way I like to do things, and I prefer that they get done that way. Brushing my teeth, sorting my laundry, only eating at the table, putting things away in the cabinets (or in the grocery cart), taking shoes off in the house, cleaning my kids after they eat — I’m picky about all of it. It’s all for good reasons — I didn’t pluck any of my particularness out of thin air, and it all makes good reasonable sense if I explain it — but taken as a whole, it’s a lot, and I am grateful to my friends and family who are amazingly understanding about it.