To My Son

There is no way I could have known what it would be like to bring you into the world, and into my life.  In just one moment, everything about me changed.  My priorities shifted.  You became the center of my universe.

I look at you and I can’t believe the love that I feel for you.  I love you completely, and without any conditions or requirements.  I will love you every day for the rest of my life.  You don’t have to do anything, be any kind of particular person, or accomplish anything for me to love you or to be proud of you.  Unconditional love is something that I now understand, because I have it for you.  You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life.  I love you more than I knew I could love (and I’m pretty good at loving!).  You are perfect, exactly as you are.

I wish there was some way for you to feel how I feel about you, but I’m afraid you’ll have to wait to have a baby of your own to really understand.  I just want you to know that for the rest of your life, when you feel self-doubt, or if you feel inadequate, or if you feel like you haven’t measured up in my eyes, know always that you have.  You have just by being.  There is nothing you could ever do or say, or fail to do or say, that would or could change the way I feel about you.  I love you.  You are my perfect baby child.

I want you to understand that you are not perfect because you are beautiful, nor are you beautiful because you are perfect.  You are, to me, both beautiful and perfect.  Those are qualities which are intrinsic to who you are.  You will always be beautiful and perfect — no other quality or requirement must be satisfied.  No matter what happens in your life, you are perfect to me exactly as you are at that moment.  Always.

Along with this I want you to understand that with the awe I feel at your presence comes with it an overwhelming desire to be a mother who can match you.  I want to do the best I can for you, every day, as your mom.  Keep in mind, I really have no idea what I’m doing, never having done this before.  My love for you is overwhelming, and my desire to be good to you is very strong.  Know that anytime I mess up — that I don’t say the right thing, that I let my ego get in the way, or that I let my temper get the better of me — that I wish I could give you better.  My wish would be to give you only the best from myself at all times.  I will do what I can to make that happen, but I know better than to promise it.

I love you, my beautiful darling child.  I wish happiness for you at all times.  I can promise you unconditional love forever.  You are the most important thing that has ever happened to me, and I am so grateful for you.  I could not ask for anything more wonderful or perfect than you, exactly as you are.  I love you.  I’m so glad I get to be your mommy.

2 Responses to “To My Son”

  1. Stephanie Gelabert says:

    Em! I’m so happy for you and Dan on your recent addition. The passage you wrote to your son is very inspiring to say the least! Good luck with everything. I wish you happiness and health always.
    -Steph :-)

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