Two trimesters down . . .

. . . one to go.  It amazes me how quickly the time has flown, how much there has been to do, and how much there still is to do (with so little time left to do it in)!

We’re having a boy, which was a surprise to me.  Somewhere in my heart & mind, I think I really believed we were having a girl.  I don’t know why — maybe because I’m the oldest in my family, and I’m a girl.  When the doctor told us we’re having a boy, I was truly amazed.  It took me about a week to get used to the idea.  Now that I’m completely enthusiastic about the idea of having a little boy, we’re left with another problem – his name!  We had a name all picked out for a baby girl, but we don’t really have one selected for a boy.  For now, he’ll continue to be Fang to me.

I’ve been completely overwhelmed by the process of selecting all of the things that our new baby will need.  There’s that tough middle ground, that I’m trying to find, between the few things a baby actually needs and the amazing list of things baby could have.  We’re about halfway through the process of registering for everything we’ve picked out, and seeing the list of things we’ve selected is a little scary.  I feel so much pressure to choose the right thing for him — the right car seat, the right crib, the right clothes, the right sheets, the right bath.  I’m sure all first time Moms have this concern to some degree, but I want so much to do everything right, and that’s hard to do because I really have no idea what it’s going to be like or what I’m doing.  I’ve had so many people say this to me in some variation, and I’m finding it to be so true:  having a baby is an excellent lesson in letting go.  There are so many things going on that I can’t control.  The least of which is really making sure I have all of the right “things” for him, but right now, that’s the concern of the day for me.

Really, though, I can’t control much of this experience.  As with all expectant Moms, I have the fear of something bad happening to my baby.  The most reassuring thing is being able to feel him kicking me.  Actually now, he kicks all the time, but I don’t mind (including now).  So far, my favorite part of pregnancy is being able to feel my baby move.

A few short weeks ago, I was squarely in the camp of women who really disliked being pregnant.  The fatigue was so profound that I felt completely incapable of doing anything beyond working and sleeping.  I feel better now (partly from cutting back my schedule at work — 6 days/week was a bit excessive) and feeling the kicking and movement of Fang makes it a lot more real and a lot more fun.  Now I’m officially one of the “I like being pregnant” people.  We’ve even starting talking about the timeline for babies number 2 & 3 down the line.

For now, I’m faced with the reality of there being just so much to do to prepare for Fang’s arrival.  I can’t wait to meet him, but I don’t want him to arrive too soon.  Don’t come yet, baby Fang!  We still have to paint your room!

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